Overview

Context

• Bartek’s 25th birthday lunch. Not worried about whether it’s good or not - just looking to roll the chance cube
• Enticed by the excellent caricature of the owner on the shopfront

Crust

• Best part
• Crispy and Crunchy
• Robust, can be picked up without any deformation

Sauce

• Dumb salty
• Reviews said it’s well-seasoned and it sure is: with copious salt, black pepper, Italian seasoning
• Tomato was overpowered but probably wasn’t good anyway

Mozzarella

• Very light and underwhelming
• But made a cheez-it-type snack at the crust

Ham

• A foul meatiness and salty as hell

Pineapple

• Tasted like slightly sweetened green bell pepper
• Maybe a little expired, wouldn’t be surprised

Additional Thoughts

• Recipe from 1967, it may be time to reconsider
• Took Bartek his whole half, and then some, to figure what exactly was going on with the flavors

Full Review